burning up forever and always. ~ PETERmode.

no happy ever after, just disaster.

i start school on thursday! weee...i guess my first purchases on my chase slate card will be on books because my mom helped me pay for tuition until i can pay her back. i'm suppose to get about 1000$ in grants per semester and i'll give her the rest in chunks from what i make at my part time job (i guess, new tv for my room will have to wait. i'll remain tv-less for another month or so...*tears*). man... even though i hated feeling like some second class student or technically not a real college student because i attended community college for so long, i liked it because i was pretty much paid to go to school and tuition was covered by financial aid. T____T...now i just need to finish up the rest of this crap as fast as possible so i can be a graduate and not waste money on school. i'll then go on to be even more of an adult in finding a full time job, consider graduate school, and saving money in order to move out...

huhu...i don't want to grow up...peter pan complex at max...suffering withdrawl~~~ : ( *crawls into fetal position* it doesn't help that i'll be going to my coworker's wedding this saturday! that'll be the first wedding i was personally invited to and attending without any family members.

sooo...ummm...yeah...back tracking...
i wanted all my sides and the back of my head shaved off because it was really hot about two weeks ago? and i just couldn't deal with all the sweating. that got done...and then i was asked if i wanted the top trimmed. i was like "why not?" and a shit load of hair came off. i'm not really mad about it though but...yeah...feels so short now...but i wanted it short to look nice for the wedding anyway.

guess i'll be going back to black and low maintenance hair for a while.

i had my 3 month check up/ teeth cleaning on friday morning...

sadly, my mom's dental insurance was fucked up or something so i had to pay out of pocket. eighty bucks gone like that (i actually needed new x-rays too and that would've been another 90$ but the assistant said that we'll save it for the next appointment because of the whole insurance mishap), but it's for my health so i believe it's worth it. the dental assistants were really nice and helpful about the situation though. there were two dental assistants who are also receptionists and one asked me what was wrong with my insurance and i said that i didn't know and that i'd have to go through the mail when i get home and the other one said that at my age, i should still be eligible to be covered under my mom and that registration for it starts and ends around october/november so i should be on it immediately. if i didn't, i would have to wait a whole year to be covered again. it was a nice feeling to know that even though i could go to some other place for a cleaning (about 20$ cheaper) that they aren't, like, after my money and genuinely are trying to help.

the first dental assistant also said that when they dealt with the insurance company that they couldn't find my mom either, so i told my mom when i got home and she said she went to the benefits department at her work place to see what was wrong and apparently we were suppose to get new cards. (not surprised because i was thinking that the whole time). that was also nice of them to tell me that because they cancelled my mom's appointment for some reason before and my mom never rescheduled. they never bothered to like help her get a new appointment either. my mom was complaining about the costs anyway so i myself didn't bother to help her get an appointment, but the fact that she even looked to see if my mom was still covered was such a nice gesture.

i got done around 11am. my appointment was at 10:30. my friend asked me if i worked on friday a couple days before because she didn't and replued that i did have work, but i asked her if she wanted to get her audio deck for her accord installed because my other friend told me about how he did nothing this summer and it was ending, so i kind of accomplished two things at once! aha! i had one friend get her audio deck installed after getting it as a gift several years prior and gave the other friend something to do (and something he's good at) before classes start. we paid him in milk tea, but i'm planning to take him out with his when we all have time. i basically spent the rest of the morning with them until my shift started (@ 2:30pm).

my tech savvy friend actually helped me install my own audio deck a couple years ago because my dad's ghetto 97' rav4 only had a radio deck (AND FUCKING MANUAL WINDOWS). i thought the whole installation would be quick because the rav4 one was soooooo easy to do. the manual for the accord one was also rated easy compared to swapping a civic's audio deck so i thought it would take no more than one hour.

it sadly took almost an hour and a half. i was SOOOOO scared of being super late for work because i did not want some mad kids waiting for me to get them from school. i made it just a bit later than usual but not too late. the day was pretty gloomy though so it seemed kind of later than usual. it was definitely a team effort this time compared to my previous time. my tech savvy friend had his brother to help him then and he wasn't around this time. it all worked out in the end though. when my friend and i couldn't unscrew some screws, my tech savvy friend saved our asses. i'm so happy to have both of them as my friend...haha...

once we found that the deck was working like it should, we were rushing our asses screwing and putting everything back because i left my car at my friend's house thinking it wouldn't take that long (big mistake). left with a quick goodbye and i headed off to work with my own milk tea and pork chop bibimbap that i didn't get to eat and drink until i got to my workplace. hmph~!

i didn't really do anything after work...i went to in n out, ate it, then napped, then worked out, showered, and slept. i really wanted to go to class 302 but it's a friday night...i'm sure it would've been packed. -O- ... i was suppose to go on the tuesday of that week but it didn't happen. stupid bitch twin sister!

soooo. moving on.
my workplace has two locations now and i've been meaning to go into the other one to say hi to the kids i haven't seen since school has started and it was sooo cute hahaha! there's this first grade kid who i've missed so much and he really likes me (he would always say hi to me and ask me why i don't pick him up from school before), but i haven't seen him in like 3 months so i saw him for the first time again that day. i was like BRIAN!!! and he stares at me and says PETER! *runs* and i'm like BRIAN?!! what are you doing? can i have a hug?? and he goes PETER~ YOU ARE SO FUNNY and i gave him a big squishy hug. ~ he got fatter...lol. i said hello to some other kids i also missed, gave em' hugs, and left to the location i work at and just did my job. this ^ was on thursday.

ahhh...when i leave my workplace i'm going to miss having honest and blunt kids to talk to and play with. i will then convert to a crazy pet person with like 3 dogs and 2 cats and rely on them for social interaction. lol because we all know that i lack in the friends department...good friends anyway...like the ones i would give my all for.

continuing on...i don't think i did anything special on wednesday but i did go out on tuesday because my twin sister wanted to go dress shopping for the wedding we're both attending. i met her from work, if ya' didn't know, but she left almost a year ago because she needed to work more hours to get by. this was the day where i was suppose to go to class 302 again but noooo, we had to go to another mall so i had to look for another shaved ice place near there. on the bright side, my twin sis found a 60$ dress @ HM marked down to 3.00$. it was the most amazing discount i've ever seen on an item. it's like a 59.99$ tag and then a red sticker that says 3.00$ on it haha. we're suppose to match so after she got the dress, i had to go find a shirt that'd match and i found a dress shirt for around 7.xx$ total at JC Penny. it was a pretty good shopping night, but disappointing dinner night. i want to wear a bow tie to the wedding dinner so i still need to get one this week.

i didn't eat dinner until after shopping but she ate before coming to my house and taking me out. bitch~~ :[
so yeah~~ i was looking for places on yelp with my phone and a bunch of places around the area closed at 10pm which is blasphemy -____-! i found this boba place that closed at midnight so we went there since the reviews weren't bad.

my twin sis got some shitty salad LOL and i got the chicken teppanyaki with black bean sauce.

we shared a (not that great and totally looked like a penis) shaved ice afterwards. it was matcha green tea flavored, but it didn't really taste like anything. i think mochi on shaved ice doesn't really make it taste better also. the red and green beans were good though. i didn't like the ice texture...class 302 is the best so far. it was totally like eating ice cream. this...not so much...

while eating and watching the food channel? my twin sis mentioned this astrology site and asked me if i wanted to read it because it was like pretty accurate for her, so i did it for myself with no interest in reading hers :x lol ... i thought it was pretty accurate for the most part but some of them were kind of conflicting. for example, it said i was more inclined to get into debt but it also said i was practical? it also said i have a horrible relationship with my mom because i lacked a maternal past or something but i'm actually more of a momma's boy and it's my dad that's more that figure. i spent like a bunch of my night at the boba place reading it lol and then i got tired and she took it to say which parts of the horoscope was totally me. lol.

here's some of the interesting stuff that i think pertains to me.

He is independent, autonomous, and has progressive ideas.
Weaknesses: an unusual, rebellious and revolutionary spirit.
He is likeable and sociable (not sure about sociable :P). Very sensitive to environmental conditions and surroundings. He likes home, habits, comfort and his little world. Very caring and protective of loved ones.
He likes family life, peace and quiet -- he likes to stay at home, surrounded by loved ones, in agreeable circumstances. Strongly influenced by the mother.
You long for a sense of true belonging, but you may be quite restless in your search.
He is frank, honest, full of vigor and ambition. He is strong-willed and powerful at work. He is a little hard on himself but, above all, on others whose capacity for action is not as great.
He has changeable moods, a reserved character, is stubborn and lacks assurance.
He likes to live in a dream, in the world of imagination, and can hope so much that reality checks can be brutal.
He is susceptible, has superficial sensitivity and is sometimes irascible.
Not necessarily loud or flamboyant, but he often has a quiet way of stirring others up. Delights in exposing what he deems biases in others' way of thinking. Very quick to contradict others, and to offer a different perspective, he enjoys intellectual debates. Amazing powers of observation, and a quirky way of looking at the world. Humorous and interesting. Loves practical jokes and raising eyebrows.

...there's like a lot to read and i never went through it all but i remember reading one that says that in my youth, i would never find someone to love until later and that i'm apparently good in bed :X LOL...so maybe i should just believe in the stars...lol...there was also this thing that said like...though i'm not like the group leader, i'm known in the group and often feared. i then was like...hmmm...maybe that's why no one ever talks to me, lol.

i don't remember doing anything on monday...but i had dinner with my work family on sunday. we had a steak dinner. it was suppose to be a potluck but i think it'll end up being steak dinners or like a certain type of food from now on and if someone's not at the house yet, then they'd call via cellphone to pick up an ingredient or something. they ended up calling me and i ended up having to buy cucumbers, apricots, and A1 steak sauce for them.

funny...because i don't really buy groceries so it was adult'ish of me to do so. i was like...what does an apricot look like? i even called them to ask lol! i was then about to get peaches instead i knew it looked like peaches but i didn't know what they looked like exactly. my twin sis couldn't describe it but when i touched the peaches, they were all SUPER soft. i ended up finding apricots instead because i knew by touching the peaches, that they were no good. i just picked the apricots by seeing if they were even in color and firm...and just made sure the cucumbers were firm and enough for all of us. it also took me awhile to find A1 steak sauce because i was in a chinese market and i wasn't looking hard enough. i was actually kind of surprised they had it haha. if i couldn't find it, i was gonna call back and ask them if korean bbq sauce was ok instead LOL.

it looks pretty sahhhweeeeet~ no?

my steak ended up being really rare though and they had to cook it longer than everyone else...hmph...

they were giving me weird looks when i asked for mine to be well too? am i the only person who likes my food to be cooked for sure? it ended up being medium well which was fine. as long as i ain't in the toilet all day the next day.

we watched the movie "the hammer" afterwards. i never heard of that movie, but it was pretty good! i liked it. it was set in LA too. loves it.

went out with my friend (the one who got the audio deck swapped) the night before that steak dinner. we just shared a grilled eel fried rice and then tried out this new shaved ice place that's really close to my house. it wasn't that good but i liked it better than the matcha green tea one pictured above.

i thought the grilled eel fried rice would be something like fried rice with chopped unagi all over it but it wasn't. it was good either way though...mmmm

original shaved ice + condensed milk + mangoes + aloe + lychee? i don't remember lol.

hmmmm...yeah...other than stuffing my fat ass self...

i changed my cellphone wallpaper. i would think that tumblr would have a bunch of nice doraemon pictures because everyone on there fucking loves rillakuma, totoro, and stuff there...but it doesn't...i only found two good pictures...heh! pitiful.

makes my cellphone so much brighter and happier now lol

i also forgot to mention that i have to keep checking for jury duty this week...i told my boss like a month before and i was expecting her to just give me the week off but i texted her yesterday and you can say she's, like, one of the coolest people ever?? lol

i have two bosses, and i learned something cool and funny about the other one too...lol. my twin sis and i were talking about like pop music and stuff because we were watching music videos on the television via a laptop on youtube and she was like "i wish there was clubs that played more pop songs" and he goes "they do at rage", and then there was just a dead silence after HAHAHA. we were like "woah...he's gone gay clubbing" in our minds and he could totally read that LOL. he was like " a lot of straight people go there too, you know?" to cover himself and it was like the funniest shit ever lol.

you could say that my bosses are also my friends. i really do adore them and know they have me in mind whenever i'm not around. such a blessing to work with them.

so yahhhhh....on an ending note. i was looking back on all the old facebook pictures i was tagged in since i wanted to see how skinny i really was and i found some pretty skinny ones lol. i'm not sure if i liked my old frame better or my currrent...so i'm pretty much working on a nice in between now...


aug 2007

2008

now...i'm like...

what have i done to myself ... : ( ~~ but one thing is for sure....i won't let myself look like rob kardashian right now...or atleast what he looked like during the bora bora trip episodes of keeping up with the kardashians .

i'm trying to get to francisco lachowski measurements and apparently they are...

BUST 90 - 35"
WAIST 70 - 27"
HIPS 91 - 36"

so okay...

my current measurements are

BUST - 41" (goal : 38" ~ 35")

WAIST - 33.75" (goal : 31"/30")
HIP - 36.25" ( goal: 36" ~ 35"?)

soooo i'm aiming to lose 2-3 inches all around at the least...shouldn't be too hard...lol

*note that waist measurement and jean size are different. my current jean size is 31 x 30 for most places...but sometimes a 31 is loose (@ hollister anyway).

so ya'll know i own makeup. i found this cool DG inspired tutorial and planning to use it for the wedding (or atleast a less dramatic version of it). i was actually bored and tried it on myself a couple days ago too lol but i don't have really dark contouring cream or powder. i ended up using a black brow pencil because if you don't use it well, it ends up looking really fake so i'm sort of trying to waste it by using it to contour. i just drew the lines and kept blending the blackness out lol. i ended up looking dirty but not good dirty like in the video.

soooo coool.
it doesn't really work too well for my face though because it's so...like...plump.
some shitty webcam pictures lol. i have a bit of a gray cast because my BB cream (that i'm also trying to finish) is really pale and gray toned. i even mixed it with darker foundation and lisa was like "woah...your face looks whiter" -__- lol. i end up replying "MAN! i even mixed it with darker foundation"

basically my face looks less egg shaped and more defined. my nose isn't as flat looking (not that it is).

i also have eyeliner and ummm...definitely only using it for special occasions or something because i end up looking like a wannabe goth. LOL...it's because guys look better with smudged liner than really nice drawn liner like girls do. kpop male stage eye makeup is like full on girl'ish too so it's not like one you can wear out to dinner and think you look normal, but if you wanna look like TOP from big bang...you can probably just tightline and waterline your eyes and then smudge it out a bit with your ring or pinky finger. i can't really tightline because i have single eyelids.

but you'll probably end up looking like this...hahaha....