Sunday, January 29, 2017

And then comes February.

I just looked at the date and January is already almost over. Chinese New Year just happened, so I am feeling a bit more optimistic and festive than usual, but I also feel down as I occasionally feel a slump and see the ghost of my dog in places where he'd usually be. It's hard when you don't have many friends nor much money to go out once a week or so. There's also the fact that I don't want to be bothersome or clingy, so I just sit in front of the computer.

I feel like typing on my blog because I don't want to make a video and take the time to edit it when it doesn't really have much substance to it. As much as I'd like to try and quadruple my monthly views by giving people what they want, buying an unnecessary amount of underwear makes no sense and I'd like to keep it gradual as I'm trying to lower my body fat and transition to a more plant-based diet.

I'm so glad I took this dance conditioning class and ended up being more informed about health since it encouraged me to change my diet now opposed to later. My acne has also been really bad for the past month, so I really needed to change something because my acne hasn't been this bad in a long time. Usually, I get pimples here and there which is normal, but I've been getting inflammation and bumps that last more than a 2 weeks and then I get new ones on top of that. Dairy has always been something I really like and I drink milk everyday but knowing that I'm not supposed to drink a milk that isn't of my own species and how the fat and sugar content is high got me reconsidering. There's also the whole steroid or hormone use on cows that may indirectly affect humans too, so it's just safer to quit it now while I have the will to. It doesn't mean that I'm going to go all strict and ask for non-dairy creamer in my coffee and stuff. But for whatever is at home, dairy is out.

My acne is still apparent and I'm still getting some new ones, but it's only been about 6 days since I stopped drinking milk. Usually people just switch to soy milk or almond milk as an alternative, BUT I HATE BOTH. I don't enjoy the taste of soy milk and I don't enjoy the nutty taste of almond or cashew either. Furthermore, when they say the texture of almond or cashew milk is closest to milk, I still find it thicker than actual whole milk. Recently, I bought the plant-based chocolate milk by Ripple and it definitely tastes like chocolate milk, but still I find it too thick for my liking. The only alternative I can tolerate is rice milk because it doesn't get me all "burpy" and it's not thick at all. The unflavored version reminds me of drinking tea and doesn't remind me of the days where I would make protein shakes. The only thing that sort of bothers me is that there is no higher protein version of it and if I want to keep my muscle mass, I'm supposed to eat around 180 grams of protein a day (1g for every pound you weigh). The rice milk only has 1 gram per serving.

At the moment, I'm not too focused on it though. If I do start noticing that I'm shrinking, then I'll just find another way to up the protein intake by making a high protein snack or cookie or something. I find quitting milk helps with sleep a bit since the lactose sugar can stimulate the brain, but it has done nothing really for my insomniac ass. Hopefully, this reduction in calories, fat content, and sugar does something for my body. I'll later start to cook and prep my own meals. I already have some things bookmarked because I need an Oreo and Tim Tams replacement.

In other news, my stupid brother got himself into a car accident with my mom's car a couple weeks ago. What kind of annoys me is that he didn't even bother to try and pay for the cost of fixing my mom's bumper. I also feel like it was an accident that could've been prevented but being how careless and apathetic about everything that my brother is, he was just like WOOP! SMASH!

It was a very minor bumper to bumper thing, but it's the least he could do when he got himself into that mess and I hope it reminds him that he's not a fucking baby anymore and that he should grow the fuck up. I still resent getting him a job because he just uses his earnings to buy stupid stuff and he's not doing anything to further advance his education (he's 25 and still hasn't finished undergrad). I don't see him do anything BESIDES playing games on one computer monitor and watching Twitch streams on a second. LOOK FOR AN AFFORDABLE SKILL TEACHING SCHOOL PROGRAM OR SOMETHING!!! Whenever I say stuff to get him thinking, he just gives me a smug look and says stupid shit like "get out of my room".

When it comes to trying to help out my mom, I've been looking through Craigslist and Google because whatever my mom finds through the Chinese newspapers doesn't really help. A lot of the jobs are either too physically demanding or scammer-y when it comes to wages. I have 1,000 more dollars to pay for my dog's hospital bill before I'm free and that should invoice should be coming in this week. I registered for class next semester, but I only got one when I really wanted two. I also had no choice but to sign up for that morning class because I lack the units that would give me a better date to register for classes. It's depressing because I want to get the classes out of the way as fast as possible so that I could really start working in the field, but it's just not happening....

Not to sound like a downer, but that's all that's really been happening. I've been trying a bit harder at the gym by pedaling harder on the bike and lifting a bit more. My TV shows are back on air. I got some poppin' new songs on my phone to work out to and watched a few new movies, but nothing to get too excited about. I did stumble upon a vegan earl grey cookie recipe while clicking back and forth between tabs. I'm pretty excited to try that out once my pack of Oreos runs out.

That is all.

PS: Oh...I turn 28 in, like, 18 days...ugh...FML.


  1. Petuhh! I still read your blog (still enjoy all the detail you put into them)!

    Yeah, my diet is about 20% Tim Tams. I should change that.

    My little bro also got himself into a car accident of sorts a little while back. Also does nothing but play computer games. He started out as a bio major (in spite of my advice that he should do comp sci) but he recently changed his major to... comp sci. What is wrong with this younger generation?!

    Hope all else is well with you!!

    1. oh my god. this is like extremely late because i don't expect people to really read these.

      at least your brother still tries to continue his education. mine just gives up on school (obv doesn't want to go back) but also doesn't do anything to grow the fuck up.

      ughhhh i'm alright, i guess