Sunday, July 3, 2016

Pretty bummed at life.

I always try to think of everything in a positive manner. I give myself a time frame of what should be happening but as time keeps moving forward and I'm not really progressing, I feel so discouraged. Never do I want people to take pity on me, so I never really put my struggles out there unless I really need to let it out for the sake of just blowing off some steam and not letting that stress cover up my face in pimples. However, times are getting a bit tough so I'm trying ever harder. My first big job interview in a long while and it didn't work out.
During my long absence, my mom got laid off of her job of 7~8 years and my good-for-nothing brother couldn't even get his FIRST job without my help (as in, he works with me now but I really hate having done that since I see him buy stupid shit instead of saving money). My dad has a steady job for now, but there's a possibility that he may have to find a new one soon because there are far too many competing businesses blocks from one another. I don't work full-time and I don't work all that much right now because I told my boss that there may be a possibility that I might not be able to even work during the summer program, but I don't mind because it gives me time to really focus a long term job and not just pushing out resumes out of sheer desperation. At the same time, I worry that I'm going to face even tougher hardships because my mom doesn't seem to be really trying to find a new job and is fine with that unemployment income. She did try this casino job since all my relatives seem to work at one but she basically got her ass handed back to her because she can't comprehend how casino games work.

Oh, I forgot to mention that my uncle (I don't know the specifics because the family tree in Asian families is really complicated and specific) died and I felt really bad because I never really got to greet him for the longest time. He was just fine (even though he had been using a cane) and visited my home a week prior. And then not too long after his funeral, my mom was finding the stupidest places to clean and tidy up because she has all the time in the world now, and ended up falling on her back. THAT REALLY FREAKED AND STRESSED ME OUT because she lost her health insurance almost a month before that and it wasn't like I could just apply for health insurance and get it the next day. My mom is fine now with no broken bones but I was at a point where the gym was the only space I could gather my thoughts and try to be at ease, only to end up with super watery eyes in between workouts because of all that was happening. 

Moreover, you can physically see how it has been affecting me because my acne hasn't been so apparent for a long time. I use to get the usual one or two every couple of weeks but I'm pretty much finding a new one daily. The pimples could also be found all over my scalp (behind the ears, back of my head, etc.). Recently, I got so fed up that I bought a new Clarisonic after going without one for quite some time. I wanted to try this other one, but the price is almost double and I don't think it's worth investing in it right now due to these job instabilities and financial insecurities. I got the Mia 2 this time, an upgrade from the original Mia that lasted me about 2 years. The Mia 2 was 97 bucks in total and hopefully it'll last longer than my original Mia. The brush changing isn't a problem for me since I only change it when the bristles get really bent and out of shape. I don't follow that recommended every 3 months or so, mumbo jumbo.
The Foreo Luna...or whatever.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

AussieBum haul (not really).

While I digest from eating way too much KFC fried chicken, I'll type here, I guess. WELP! I went back to my old job. I feel like a failure but at least I feel like I have more direction in life, once again. Maybe that time off was meant for me to "get my shit together". Let's just hope that I really am cut out to be a Foreign Service Officer and it'll lead me to a cool bustling city in East Asia or South East Asia. My test date is slowly getting closer and closer. I've been studying on my cardio days rather than reading comic books, but I get kind of bored after 20 minutes and take breaks in between my cycling.

I've also been trying to keep myself more in check by setting a time to wake up to every single day (including weekends). I'm thinking that maybe that way, I can still take naps without disrupting my actual sleep time too much. Other than that, nothing has really happened this week. It legit rained around here for two days and I got my online orders from the week prior.

Contrary to what I thought, the flock of resolutioners heading to the gym wasn't that huge? I'm not sure if it's because I'm just so use to going at the "dead" time or it's because there are three big name gyms competing for business in the area now, so people are more sprawled. Either way, I try to get home before 3AM and sleep before 5AM. I'm the worst and most nocturnal piece of trash to exist.

That's all.

Oh! My dog woke up with teary and swollen eyes again. I feel like his pink eye is very periodic which makes me wonder how guide dogs are taken care of? since they are known to be relatively healthy and all. As a pet parent, I feel horrible because all I can do is wipe his eyes with salt water solution and hug him, but he's a trooper and I've never really had any other problems like worms or anything.


Thursday, December 31, 2015

Tiramisu Milk Tea & Royal Milk Tea Meltyblend Taste Test

I already typed an entry, so I don't know what to put in here now. 5 minutes until the new year here! I wish every person reading this the best for 2016!

The End of Another Book

Hello Blog!

I guess I should get an entry in before midnight strikes. The year was kind of a shitty one, personally. It started off with ambition and a leap into the unknown but it has come to end with me going back to my old job (which begins next week). I was just getting the hang of being more in touch with my blog and YouTube channel again but I really got to make more than a measly dollar or so, per month.

I spent almost half my year figuring out how to get to where I want to be and then thinking about other paths to pursue. Being a video editor/content creator went pretty much no where and I kind of partially believe it is because I'm not a blonde white girl. E-mailed a ton of resumes and been ignored most of the time. Got formally rejected from Hulu, Nickelodeon, and some hip looking marketing place. Three or four rejections out of at least thirty emails. Started to feel depressed and hopeless. Stumbled upon the possibility of working as a Diplomat while discussing jobs with a follower, and have been studying on and off since. Let's hope I pass my test, am well received in my interview, and sent to Washington DC to begin my training to become one. It'd give me an opportunity to travel, which I've barely ever done so far in my life. I can totally write and make videos about my personal experience, while growing as a person and adult in the world too. Furthermore, I'd be taught more skills and given classes to learn more languages/improve on the ones I already know. When I thought that all the classes I took in college was just useless stuff to get a degree, it might just serve some use. I'm hoping for the best! TT-TT

In other news, I finally hit 100,000 views on YouTube, which is kind of pitiful being that I've been uploading videos since late 2011. My subscriber numbers are even more pitiful but it could be worse. I've been testing to see what kind of direction I should be going and whatnot. I seriously think that as long as I'm topless in the thumbnail, that my view count would generally be higher than any other video I upload. Personally, I don't mind that at all because I've been working so hard on my body for the past year and I'm proud of my body, but I have no reason to be half naked all of the time + it's winter and I'm freeeeeeezing!
Above is my first ever gym picture, in the coming weeks, I'm going to try and wear the same exact outfit and stand in the same exact spot to see how much I've changed (lol). Picture quality is so bad though. Photo quality of my G3 seems years ahead of what the Nexus 4 took. I'm planning to get a G4 when the price drops into the $300 dollar range. Ideally, I'd want the V10 but it's still LG's newest flagship... ' ____ '. I would totally hop on the Nexus 6P BUT it doesn't have Optical Image Stabilization, so G4 is what my eyes are on. It has a greeeeeeeaaaat camera + I love my G3.

On a similar note, my mom wanted to start using a smartphone this year. I made my brother give her my Galaxy Nexus since he only uses it to listen to music in the shower, and I feel like I'm wasting money because she barely uses it and then complains when she can't do what she wants it to. I literally took a picture of an old white lady using her iPhone during jury duty to show my mom and she was so offended and ranted about how she didn't go to school and it took me a while to think back about how she was arguing. So are you saying that you need to go to school to learn how to use a smartphone??? I hate it when people bring up the stupidest things thinking that it's a valid reason. This is currently my text thread with my mom:
No more big bags of bread *tear*.
Notice how it's all just me talking. She started to realize that the blinking LED means that there's a notification and how to check them out, but she never replies. She'd come home and be like "I saw your message". It's, thanks could've told me that 3 hours ago. I feel more inclined to text my mom in Chinese but it's also hard because I don't know proper words for some things (ex: dog food^). I also have to think in Mandarin because I don't know how Cantonese people type and it's not always so easy to go between the two (like you can say one thing in Cantonese but it doesn't directly translate over to Mandarin). Either way, it's good to exhaust my brain, I guess.

Christmas was last week, but I decided to buy myself some clothes to treat myself. I'll make a video about this because I want to update my channel as often as possible. However, I'm leaving these here for reference purposes and in case anyone wants to buy the same things (although no one really reads my blog anyway).

A couple weeks ago, I saw this button up on Topman and I really wanted it because it was a knock off of Burberry from a while back. I was hoping that the price would be further reduced as new year was coming around but the price didn't budge, so I decided to get it before it went out of stock. It was $25 and there were no working 10% off codes  + I don't have a UK student ID number *cries*. I did use ebates though! Don't forget ebates!
 ASOS (also ebates!). I'm kind of annoyed that I have to buy above $40 to get free shipping but I'm pretty happy with my choices. If this wasn't the case, I don't think I would have gone through with this purchase.
I pretty much liked this because the ombre to pink wasn't an obnoxious tone of pink + fitted white t-shirts are always nice :T
Continuing with that white tee thing, I thought this has an edgy and little bad ass vibe to it + another star shirt to add to my closet. Woo~!
Lastly, I do love the look of the shirt but what sold me was the "band" between the white part and the printed part. I loved that trend going on for girls when it came to sports bras and crop tops but it never caught on for guys since we don't have crop tops to buy and our bands come in the form of underwear.

I also bought some stuff from Amazon but those are basically essentials for me and my dog that I'll do a ridiculous video on because I literally see people on YouTube be like HAY GAIZ! THIS IS MY SUPERMARKET HAUL. CHECK OUT MY GROCERIES!! why not join the crazy train!

I think that's all I had to say.
Last entry of 2015!