I always try to think of everything in a positive manner. I give myself a time frame of what should be happening but as time keeps moving forward and I'm not really progressing, I feel so discouraged. Never do I want people to take pity on me, so I never really put my struggles out there unless I really need to let it out for the sake of just blowing off some steam and not letting that stress cover up my face in pimples. However, times are getting a bit tough so I'm trying ever harder. My first big job interview in a long while and it didn't work out.
During my long absence, my mom got laid off of her job of 7~8 years and my good-for-nothing brother couldn't even get his FIRST job without my help (as in, he works with me now but I really hate having done that since I see him buy stupid shit instead of saving money). My dad has a steady job for now, but there's a possibility that he may have to find a new one soon because there are far too many competing businesses blocks from one another. I don't work full-time and I don't work all that much right now because I told my boss that there may be a possibility that I might not be able to even work during the summer program, but I don't mind because it gives me time to really focus a long term job and not just pushing out resumes out of sheer desperation. At the same time, I worry that I'm going to face even tougher hardships because my mom doesn't seem to be really trying to find a new job and is fine with that unemployment income. She did try this casino job since all my relatives seem to work at one but she basically got her ass handed back to her because she can't comprehend how casino games work.
Oh, I forgot to mention that my uncle (I don't know the specifics because the family tree in Asian families is really complicated and specific) died and I felt really bad because I never really got to greet him for the longest time. He was just fine (even though he had been using a cane) and visited my home a week prior. And then not too long after his funeral, my mom was finding the stupidest places to clean and tidy up because she has all the time in the world now, and ended up falling on her back. THAT REALLY FREAKED AND STRESSED ME OUT because she lost her health insurance almost a month before that and it wasn't like I could just apply for health insurance and get it the next day. My mom is fine now with no broken bones but I was at a point where the gym was the only space I could gather my thoughts and try to be at ease, only to end up with super watery eyes in between workouts because of all that was happening.
Moreover, you can physically see how it has been affecting me because my acne hasn't been so apparent for a long time. I use to get the usual one or two every couple of weeks but I'm pretty much finding a new one daily. The pimples could also be found all over my scalp (behind the ears, back of my head, etc.). Recently, I got so fed up that I bought a new Clarisonic after going without one for quite some time. I wanted to try this other one, but the price is almost double and I don't think it's worth investing in it right now due to these job instabilities and financial insecurities. I got the Mia 2 this time, an upgrade from the original Mia that lasted me about 2 years. The Mia 2 was 97 bucks in total and hopefully it'll last longer than my original Mia. The brush changing isn't a problem for me since I only change it when the bristles get really bent and out of shape. I don't follow that recommended every 3 months or so, mumbo jumbo.
|The Foreo Luna...or whatever.|