I'm in the mood to write a blog entry because my phone is (what I believe to be) dying and I can't be in my room right now because it's that point in summer where all the heat rises and accumulates upstairs and it gets unbearably hot as the sun progresses from noon to evening. On a random note, I was watching a phone review on YouTube earlier and this British guy was like "okay, it's about 10 pm and the sun is barely starting to set" and I'm sitting there with a "what?" on my face because the sun always sets by 9 pm here. My mom kind of nags me, every single time it is hot, to just stay downstairs because of it, so I sit in my parent's bedroom beside the ghetto single unit air conditioner until the sun goes down.
Recently, my phone has been getting rather warm and I thought it was because I've been opening Pokemon Go more often, but that wasn't the case this morning. Every morning, I always reboot my phone once I get to the gym because my ghetto Bluetooth earbuds don't seem to connect as smoothly without doing so. If I don't reboot, my music skips so much that it takes less time to just do a reboot and reconnect to Bluetooth than wait out the signal. Usually, I try to get Poke balls from the pokestop before I enter the gym but it didn't load fast enough and once I'm in the door, I just ignore the app.
Well anyway, after the usual reboot and morning stretches, I spent one hour on the cardio-bike catching up on my comic books (I'm finally caught up to the most recent issue of Aquaman and Justice League!) and then do my usual abdominal exercises before going home. During that hour, my phone went from around 70% to 25% with the screen feeling extra warm in my hand. Oddly enough, in the recently opened apps tab, the only app open was Google Play Music. I ended up rebooting my phone as I changed swapped my sweaty tank top for a dry T-shirt that I didn't care for anymore. The warmth dissipated and left me with enough power before getting home. As I washed my blender bottle and water bottle, the battery was at 15% which starts prompting to be plugged for charging.
This is totally starting to give me dejavu because the phone before this one, I was having similar battery draining issues and the heating came later? Also, for the longest time, I just put up with it by keeping my external battery close to me until the phone couldn't even hold a charge anymore. I did look up if other people had the same issues and cleared my cache (which at one point, I didn't realize took up so much space from the internal storage that it only left me with about 2 gigs left. I thought it was just my music, photos, and videos hogging the space...lol). It freed up almost a gig of internal memory but doesn't seem to help. I have been wanting a new phone, so this is kind of an excuse for it. At the same time, do I really want to waste $500 on a new phone right now? No.
Moreover, what totally bugs me as well is that my fucking pathetic little brother bought a Oneplus 6T like 6 months ago and his reason was that his phone before that one was "getting slow". First off, my good-for-nothing brother doesn't go anywhere and just sits his obese ass in front of his computer all day and night, so why would you need a phone with top tier specs? What irks me more is that if I didn't get him a job in the first place, he wouldn't have that phone, a Nintendo 3DS and Switch, a PS4, nor the money to build two desktop computers with a 2 monitor configuration (in which he has bought 3 monitors in total and attempted to dump the one he wanted to get rid of in my room. Like, I don't want your trash, bitch).
The job is supposed to allow for him to finish college with food money and whatnot, but he basically scammed my mom into making me get him a job that he didn't even need to get interviewed for. The only time he ever pays my mom back for anything is when she occasionally forces him to pay a car insurance bill, but doesn't ask him for anything more than that. At one time, he did some online schooling to shut my mom up about doing nothing with his life, but that looked like it stopped after a few months. All I ever see on his computer monitor is one stupid monitor with a manga open and the other with a stupid Twitch stream playing. It's SO ANNOYING when I'm busting my ass trying to get my life together when he can just sleep 10 hours a day, work 4-6 hours at a job he doesn't even deserve, and be a 27 year old baby. He has weekends off and almost every governmental holiday. It doesn't take someone over 5 years to figure out what you want to do with you life, especially if you don't even attempt anything at all.
What's more annoying is when my mom tells me to stop comparing myself to him and that I should be doing what a brother should be doing, be helpful and "set an example". Like, I want to act like a fucking baby too and not do shit because I hate my life as well. No one has ever helped me to the extent that I have for both him and my mom. More recently, my mom's employer filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy and asked me to explain what the letters meant because she only worked one or two days a week for a while. I would obviously help to the best of my ability in the end because that's just the right thing to do, but I told her to go ask my brother because all he does is sit around all day not doing anything. Might as well make him use his brain to do something useful for once because I'm busting my ass trying to pass all my classes and practicums and while having some food money at hand and be able to pay for my gym membership and my phone bill. I also pay for my parents' service as well because they wouldn't even have a mobile phone, if it wasn't for me. My brother doesn't do shit! He just hides in his room and eats junk food he orders regularly with his Amazon prime membership, because he can't even shop at a grocery store like a normal person.
....
So like what my entry title states, I kind of have too much free time and it's getting to the point where I'm like swamped in my own "what if" thoughts and any possible scenario you can play in your head because you aren't occupied with work or academia. I want to not be stuck at home but I have to for another couple of weeks. It doesn't help that my dad is retired, all his friends are dead, and he just sits in front of the TV all day and night. If you can't tell, I practically have no relationship with my dad aside from the fact that half of my DNA is from him. He is the most apathetic being alive and an alcoholic at that, which is why I absolutely despise seeing people party and drink. What was the point of this again? Oh, it's because I'm stuck at home.
Before this, I was finishing my volunteer requirement at a general practice so I was essentially standing around at an animal hospital for 6 hours a day for 3 weeks. My time at that hospital was pretty great, for the most part. I unknowingly volunteered at a hospital that the girl I sat next to in class works at. It didn't mean that it was fun though because how she is at school and at work is like two different people. I spent most of my time not following her around because of it. I loved the doctors though. They were so nice to be around and tried to include me in things that the manager may not have wanted. Much of the staff learned my name within a week of me being there too. It's funny when the manager' says "we gotta start getting you to do more stuff" while simultaneously being like "you're not supposed to touch this or open that by yourself". It's like, I get it and it's a whole liability thing and so I'm literally just standing around watching, then get told "speak up more" and it's like...I can't do anything anyways...so...why?
In the end, I actually got told that when I'm done with the program I could get in touch with him for a position at the hospital. That was super awesome to hear because the first hospital I ever interviewed for passed me over. Also, if anyone is interested in working with puppies or kittens, general practices are probably the best places to see them where they aren't horribly sick or in horrific conditions. The only gripe I have with working in that field is in the long term aspect of it because I'm not in my twenties anymore and I (obviously) need that growth, challenge, and mental stimulation (if you can't tell from the entry snowballing into this mess). I don't want to be involved with a hospital shutting down in the long run or going corporate. I also want to work with more intellectuals, without trying to sound offensive.
I might go back in 6 months just to get a kitten because they have a lot and I got asked to take some home. I want to be a responsible pet owner this time, so I need to finish my program first, get licensed, and be working full-time before I can do anything extra. I'd like an extra social, domestic medium hair kitty and another Labrador eventually...I just don't know when...
I also have class once a week but there isn't much studying involved, so I kind of have too much thinking time. Thoughts include:
- Must be nice to be married or have legitimate close friends: as I type extremely long messages to people and not get a reply for days at a time. I'm not mad about it but there are times where I do want an opinion on something or some sort of reassurance about stuff, and there is me, myself, and I.
- I'd really like to go to an amusement or theme park right now. Too bad I have no friends: Summer has been kind of a drag and I kind of miss the wild, unexpectedness that comes with working with kids, so I feel sort of stagnated. I want a day to just ride a bunch of thrill rides, eat a greasy meal, and chug a ton of iced regular sugar soda. There's also this dog exhibit I want to go see at the California Science Center but my mom started picking up shifts again, so I don't want to drag her with me. (In a totally unrelated story, on one of my days shadowing a technician at the animal hospital, there was a client with a super friendly and hyper rottweiler that came in because he noticed she's been itchy. The doctor diagnosed it as a hot spot from all the flea bites she's gotten and prescribed flea preventative because she wasn't on any. But anyway, that boy was hot and he was there with his mom and the girls in the back were like bagging on how he's a momma's boy and crap. Anyone that loves and respects their mother is a plus to me, whatever . I still can't get over how good looking that guy was, even though I was probably like at least 5 years older than him. It's also really odd seeing clients that you knew in middle school show up. I was like "yikes" and avoided that appointment.)
-I really need to step up my diet game or change my workout routine: Being that I'm 30, any ache or movement is a death trap to me. As much as I'd like to do squats on things that aren't meant for squats, I don't want to risk hurting myself and making things worse.
-Why do I keep buying stuff when I'm not even working right now:
-I miss my dog:
[After leaving this entry in my drafts for a year, I'm just going to publish it without writing any further.]
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